For a long time, I believed that the people we admire—those who make headlines, launch companies, lead nations, or inspire generations—were simply born with something the rest of us didn’t have. Geniuses, I used to think. People like Steve Jobs, Martin Luther King Jr., or even modern public figures like Donald Trump must’ve just been born different. Born special.
Maybe you’ve thought that, too. That success is something reserved for a lucky few. Maybe you’ve looked at your life, your background, or your current circumstances and told yourself, “I’ll never be like them.” But here’s what I’ve come to realize: that way of thinking is exactly what keeps us stuck.
We Were All Born Learners
Think about it. The hardest things most of us will ever learn—walking and talking—we conquered when we were just toddlers. And yet, when a baby falls, they don’t stop trying. They don’t feel embarrassed. They don’t say, “Maybe walking’s not for me.” They just get up and try again.
That’s what it means to have a growth mindset. And the older we get, the further we drift away from that.
As children, most of us were fearless learners. But as we grow up, we start worrying about failure, about looking stupid, about being judged. That fear of failure becomes stronger than our desire to improve. That’s when the fixed mindset creeps in.
The Core Lesson from Dr. Carol Dweck’s Work
Dr. Carol Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, changed the way the world thinks about success with her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. In it, she draws a powerful line between people who grow and people who stay stuck.
She explains that successful people don’t try to prove they’re smart—they focus on getting smarter.
It seems so simple, but it’s profound. Some people walk into every conversation, classroom, or job thinking they need to show everyone how much they know. Others walk in ready to learn something new—even if that means admitting they don’t know it all.
That difference is everything.
Stop Trying to Look Smart—Start Trying to Learn
In the classroom, I saw this all the time. Some students would rather stay silent than ask a question because they didn’t want to “look dumb.” They believed that not knowing something meant they weren’t smart. And so they stayed quiet, stayed confused, and stayed stuck.
But the truth is, the smartest people are the ones asking the most questions. Not because they know less, but because they’ve stopped pretending.
Pretending to be smart is a waste of energy. Every moment you spend trying to appear perfect is a moment you could be using to grow. And over time, that adds up. While one person is showing off, someone else is building real skills, gaining confidence, and eventually pulling ahead.
A Lesson from Four-Year-Olds
Dr. Dweck once did a fascinating study with a group of four-year-olds. She gave them a choice: redo a puzzle they’d already solved, or try a harder one. The kids with a fixed mindset stuck with what they already knew. They didn’t want to make a mistake.
But the children with a growth mindset? They chose the harder puzzle. Not because it was easier, but because they wanted to challenge themselves. They understood something most adults have forgotten—that growth comes from effort, not perfection.
Are You Living on Repeat?
Here’s the part that really hits home: most of us choose the same “puzzle” over and over. We do what’s safe. We stick to routines. We avoid anything unfamiliar because we don’t want to fail.
But staying in your comfort zone means staying stuck.
You may think reading a book for 20 minutes a day won’t change your life. You might believe that trying something new and failing will make you look bad. But these small decisions are what separate people who grow from those who stay where they are.
Success isn’t about having the perfect plan. It’s about developing the right mindset.
So What Now?
Ask yourself honestly: Do I have a growth mindset or a fixed one?
Are you the type of person who tries to learn from others—even if it means admitting you don’t have all the answers? Or are you spending your energy trying to look like you’ve got it all figured out?
If you want to change your life, start by changing how you see failure. Don’t fear it. Embrace it. Learn from it. Because every time you fail and keep going, you’re growing.
It’s not about talent. It’s not about luck. It’s about effort, mindset, and the willingness to improve—even when it’s hard.
Final Thought
You’ve already proven that you can overcome the impossible. You did it when you learned to walk, when you learned to speak, and when you faced things you never thought you’d survive.
So don’t stop now.
You don’t need to be a genius to succeed—you just need a growth mindset.